"Effing the ineffable since 1996" Menu
I'm the Reverend James Huber. This is my site. Here I express my opinion, blow off steam, and practice web site design; not necessarily in that order. Some people will find my opinions offensive. If you're one of those people, you are cordially invited to
fuck off go elsewhere. If you choose not to go elsewhere, you have only yourself to blame.
Philosophically I'm an atheist and a humanist with slight pantheistic tendencies. I'm socially very progressive, but politically more centrist with some libertarian leanings. Basically that means that while I personally share most of the progressive agenda, I don't trust the government with the kind of power it would take to enforce that agenda.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: How can you be absolutely certain there is no God?
A: I don't need to be absolutely certain there is no God to be an atheist, I just have to be reasonably certain that when people pray that I get hit by lightning, they're really just talking to themselves.
Q: If you're not certain there is no God, doesn't that make you agnostic?
A: Sure, in some pointless, bullshit, technical sense of the word "agnostic". I'm also that kind of agnostic about the Earth being round.
Q: How can you be "reasonably certain" that when people pray that you get hit by lightning, they're really just talking to themselves?
A: Well, for one thing I haven't been hit by lightning. For another, I had a vision where God told me He didn't exist.
Q: That doesn't make any sense; how can God tell you he doesn't exist?
A: You'll believe in talking snakes, a magic cracker that turns into godmeat that's extra-special magic god meat because it still tastes like a cracker, and even that 1 + 1 + 1 = 1, but you just can't cope with something that acts without existing. Interesting.
Q: So you believe in a creative "force" that acts without existing?
A: It's either that or visions aren't a reliable source of information. I wonder which it could be?
Q: If there is no God, where did all this come from?
A: I could tell you what I've read about evolution, the big-bang, super-universes, quantum foam, and all that stuff. Eventually you'd ask a question I can't answer, then I'd have to go look it up. Even If I had the time for that shit, in the end you'd ask a question science hasn't answered yet. So let's save time and skip ahead to "I don't know."
Q: If science doesn't know where this comes from, then couldn't it be God's doing?
A: The only difference between that kind of thinking and the stereotype of the savage who thinks the Great White Hunter is a God because he doesn't know how the hunter's cigarette lighter works is that the savage has an excuse for his ignorance. The assumption that anything we don't understand must be the work of supernatural forces is superstition, pure and simple.
Q: Doesn't it take more faith to believe all this "just happened?"
A: It might. If I ever meet someone who thinks it "just happened" I'll ask them. Meanwhile, scientists will be spending their time figuring out, in minute detail, exactly how it did happen.
Q: If you don't believe in God, why do you spend so much time talking about Him? You don't spend time talking about the Toothfairy or Santa Claus.
A: The people who believe in the Toothfairy and Santa Claus don't vote, neither do they threaten to beat the shit out of people I care about. When people start beating my friends for not putting teeth under their pillow, or there's serious talk about defining marriage as between one man and eight tiny reindeer, I'll start complaining about that.
Q: Why do you use offensive language?
A: To offend a certain kind of people. I reference sexual and excretory functions; the people I'm mocking reference hellfire. Out of fucking, taking a shit and being burned alive, which is on your avoid-at-all-costs list for this weekend?